Your READY Assessment Results

November 8, 2014

Prepared for: Respondent

Report Summary

Your personal RELATE assessment has been analyzed and compiled into this multi-page report.

Within you will find five major aspects of relationship success have been evaluated. Each has been briefly summarized on this page. However, we encourage you to read your report in its entirety to learn more about your strengths as a relationship partner as well as areas you should strive to improve.

← Use the navigation on the left to peruse the different sections of your report.

5 Aspects of Relationship Success

  1. Perceived Readiness
  2. Family Background and Attachment Style
  3. Personal Characteristics and Marital Outlook
  4. Communication and Conflict Resolution
  5. Overall Strengths and Challenges
  • Strength
  • Needs Improvement
  • Challenge Area

These three colors illustrate the degree of strength or weakness your results indicate in a specific scale


The graph above shows how ready you feel you are to be in a close committed relationship. The five bars represent how you rated your emotional readiness, sexual readiness, communication readiness, financial readiness, and overall readiness. More »

The Family Background scale measures the emotional climate in your home, your parents' marriage, and how much your family experiences influence your current relationships. More »



This graph reflects your current outlook toward marriage in three aspects. 'Marital Outlook' refers to how you think about marriage and whether or not you feel marriage is a good thing for you at this time in your life. More »

The Relationship Strategy scale measures your use of ideas and skills to change your own behavior and enhance your relationships. The Relationship Effort scale measures your persistence in use of ideas and skills to change your own behavior. Effort is especially important when initial attempts to improve a relationship do not work well. Together the scales reflect how much priority you give to working on relationships. More »

The Effective Communication scale measures your level of empathy, listening, and ability to send clear messages. The Conflict Resolution scale is a measure of the degree of criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and emotional flooding that people use when they are trying to resolve conflict. More »

About This Report

Your READY report contains a detailed analysis of the answers you provided on the READY questionnaire. Your scores are organized into five important aspects of relationship readiness:

  1. Perceived Relationship Readiness
  2. Family Background and Attachment Style
  3. Personal Characteristics and Marital Outlook
  4. Communication and Conflict Resolution
  5. Overall Strengths and Challenges

These domains are segmented into tabs at the left of this page. Studies conducted by the RELATE Institute have found that these five domains influence couples' relationship quality before and after marriage. Simply put, how ready you are in these domains will influence your success in dating relationships now and your ability to form a loving and lasting marriage in the future. We encourage you to review your results and think about what they mean for you and your efforts to form a successful relationship.


How to Read This Report's Charts

Calculation of Strength and Challenge Zones
Charts in the READY report are delineated into 3 zones: Strength, Needs Improvement, and Challenge.

The cut-offs between zones were calculated by comparing scale scores with relationship satisfaction via a large, national sample of couples in the United States.

  • The cut-off point for the blue zone is the level where 90% or more people reporting that score were satisfied with their relationship.
  • The white zone is the level where 70% to 89% typically report being highly satisfied.
  • The red zone indicates the level where less than 70% of individuals reported being satisfied with their relationships.

For example, if the blue zone for a scale begins at 4.50 it means that more than 90% of individuals who rate themselves at or above that level also report that they are satisfied with their relationships.


A Word Regarding Strengths and Challenges

In addition to identifying specific areas of strength and challenge, we recommend that you evaluate the total number of "strength areas" and "challenge areas" in your relationship readiness. Looking at the total number of these areas highlights the fact that relationships are influenced not only by the presence of certain strengths and challenges, but also by how many of these areas there are in the relationship. As these factors "pile up" on each other they tend to create an overall strengthening or challenging effect on a person's relationship readiness. For example, if 10 out of the 11 scores on the previous graphs are in the blue area it means you have a “positive pile-up” of strengths that will complement each other as you form relationships in the future.

However, if you have 6 out of the 11 scores in the red area you may have a “negative pile-up” of challenges that could work against your efforts in dating and marriage.

You should keep in mind that almost all people have a mix of relationship strengths and challenges. It may be helpful for you to discuss with a parent or trusted friend the relationship strengths and challenges you have. Talk about how you can make sure you keep doing the things that are assets. It also is helpful to talk about the challenges. See if you can identify things you personally can do to improve the way you manage challenges. Although these graphs can give you some guidance in determining your overall relationship readiness. You ultimately need to determine which aspects of relationship readiness are most important for you to focus on. It is possible that even if you have a score in the white or blue area that it could still be a challenge for you.


General Guidelines for Interpreting your READY Report

Keep in mind that READY is not designed to predict the success of your future relationships, nor to diagnose possible personal or relationship difficulties.

  • Use the READY Report to focus your attention on developing your strengths and overcoming your challenges. The accuracy of each graph or score will depend on the level of honesty and insight you had when you responded to the READY questionnaire, as well as how honest you are with yourself. The READY Report contains sensitive information. If serious problems related to any of the issues discussed are hampering your ability to form a satisfying relationship, you may want to consider seeking assistance.
  • When evaluating your results, look at your answers for the READY questions in the Detailed Response Section of your report to check if you misinterpreted an item or if you made an error when marking your answer (e.g. marked "rarely" when you meant "often").
  • Additional questions were asked in READY, but the answers are not included in the Report in order to protect the confidentiality of this information. These questions concern interpersonal violence and sexual abuse in your family and in other relationships which may or may not have taken place.

Perceived Readiness

The graph above shows how ready you feel you are to be in a close committed relationship. The five bars represent how you rated your emotional readiness, sexual readiness, communication readiness, financial readiness, and overall readiness.

Strength (Blue):

If you have scores in the blue area on these questions it means that you have high levels of confidence in your readiness in that aspect of couple relationships. When grounded in a realistic view of yourself, having a sense of confidence can help you initiate and commit to relationships.

Needs Improvement (White):

If you scored in the white area on any of these questions it means that you have mixed feelings about your readiness in that particular aspect of a committed relationship. There are two possible explanations for your lack of confidence. First, you really are ready, but you have anxieties about couple relationships that cause you to discount your true level of readiness. Second, you truly are not ready in some ways and you need to improve your readiness before getting into a committed relationship. Your scores in the other sections of this report can help you decide whether you are ready or not.

Challenge (Red):

Scores in the red area mean that you do not feel ready to be in a close committed relationship, at least in some important ways. Again, you may be underestimating your readiness or your insights may be accurate. As you review the other parts of your report, make note of the particular aspects of relationships that you struggle with and focus on those in your efforts to improve your relationship readiness.

You should remember that the scores on this graph are your “perceived readiness” or how ready you personally feel you are to be in a committed relationship. Your perceptions may be accurate or they may not. Remember that desiring to be in a relationship is not the same thing as being ready to be in a relationship. Perceived readiness may or may not be aligned with actual readiness. As you review your report, make note of how your scores confirm or disconfirm your sense of readiness. One of the primary purposes of the READY Questionnaire is to help you base your sense of readiness on proper criteria and factors that will truly influence your current and future relationships.

Family Background

This section of your report provides you with feedback on the questions you answered about your Family Background and Attachment Style. Numerous studies have shown that these factors play an important role in setting a foundation for how you think, feel, and act in your current relationships. Attachment style refers to the way you relate to others in the context of close and intimate relationships. As you examine your family background factors, you should have a “here and now focus.” This means that the goal is not to understand the past for the past’s sake, rather the goal is to understand the past so that you can fully understand the present and make good choices for your future.

According to attachment theory and research, there are two fundamental ways in which people differ from one another in how they approach relationships. First, some people are more anxious than others. People who are high in attachment-related anxiety tend to worry about whether their partners really love them and often fear rejection. People who are low in anxiety tend to be more confident in their relationships. Second, some people are more avoidant than others. People who are high in attachment related avoidance are less comfortable depending on and opening up to others. Sometimes people with high avoidance fear commitment and do not allow relationships to progress to deeper levels of disclosure, openness, and mutual reliance.

The Family Background scale measures the emotional climate in your home, your parents' marriage, and how much your family experiences influence your current relationships.

Strength (Blue):

A blue score on this scale means you see your family as emotionally healthy, your parents' marriage(s) as strong, and your current relationships with parents as healthy and encouraging.

Need Improvement (White):

If you scored in the white area on this scale it means that some parts of your family background were positive, but there were some negative experiences as well.

Challenge Area (Red):

People with family background challenges are more likely to be in relationships that are less satisfying. If you rated yourself in the red area on this scale you will want to look for ways to strengthen your relationships with extended family members and come to terms with negative experiences in your past.
RELATE Institute Findings: In research with couples, partners who have positive family backgrounds are more likely to have higher levels of emotional readiness and to be kind and flexible. Family background is also an important part of predicting couples' overall relationship quality. While you cannot change the past you can learn to manage your emotions and act in mature ways so that challenges from your past will not undermine your current relationships.

Confidence (Low Anxiety)

The Confidence (Low Anxiety) scale measures your attachment-related anxiety.

Strength (Blue):

If you scored in the blue area on this scale it means that you do not get anxious in close relationships. You feel secure about yourself and do not worry too much about other people rejecting you or not wanting to be in a relationship with you.

Need Improvement (White):

If you scored in the white area on this scale it means that you are confident in some ways, but anxious in others. It is important for you to determine if your level of anxiety is creating problems for you in meeting people and dating.

Challenge Area (Red):

People who have confidence scores in the red area often struggle in forming healthy relationships. If you rated yourself in the challenge area on this scale you need to re-evaluate how your anxiety about acceptance is impacting how you act in close relationships.
RELATE Institute Findings: Research shows that high levels of attachment-related anxiety lead to unhealthy patterns of self-criticism, low self-esteem, and poor relationship boundaries. This lack of confidence sometimes makes anxious people appear needy or desperate. Highly anxious people are often conflict-avoidant and sometimes stay in poor quality relationships for fear that if they break-up with their partner they will not have chances for a new relationship.

Openness (Low Avoidance)

The Openness (Low Avoidance) scale measures your attachment-related avoidance.

Strength (Blue):

A blue score on this scale means you are an open person who is comfortable disclosing your thoughts and feelings and are willing to rely on others. Being this type of person will help you build close relationships built on mutual trust and reliance.

Need Improvement (White):

A white score on this scale means that you are not as open and trusting as you can be in close relationships. You may need to focus on sharing your inner thoughts with others in ways that will help them feel closer to you.

Challenge Area (Red):

People who have openness scores in the red area often struggle in close relationships. If you scored in the red on this score you may come across as distant or arrogant to others. You likely fear commitment and hold back when a relationship starts to go deeper than you want.
RELATE Institute Findings: Research shows that avoidant people often focus their attention on personal pursuits rather than invest their time and energy into relationships. Avoidant people also often sabotage relationships as they start to move from casual interaction to expectations for commitment. In an effort to avoid being hurt by opening up to others, avoidant people often struggle with feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Attachment Style

As you can see in this graph, the two dimensions of Anxiety (confidence) and Avoidance (openness) can be combined to create interesting combinations of what relationship researchers call Attachment Styles. For example people who are low in both attachment-related anxiety and avoidance are generally considered to have “Secure Attachment” because they don't typically worry about whether their partner's are going to reject them and they are comfortable being emotionally close to others. Individuals in the other three styles are considered to have “Insecure Attachment” because these styles involve high levels of anxiety, avoidance, or both.

Anxiety

Avoidance

High Low
High Fearful Attachment Dismissing Attachment
Low Preoccupied Attachment Secure Attachment

Secure Attachment: If you scored in the “secure attachment” quadrant it means that you have low levels of anxiety and avoidance. Research on attachment styles indicates that secure people tend to have relatively enduring and satisfying relationships. They are comfortable expressing their emotions, and tend not to suffer from depression and other psychological disorders.

Preoccupied Attachment: If you scored in the “preoccupied attachment” quadrant it means you have a relatively high level of anxiety, but a low level of avoidance when it comes to intimate relationships. Research on attachment styles indicates that preoccupied people tend to have highly conflictual relationships. Although they are comfortable expressing their emotions, preoccupied individuals often experience a lot of negative emotions (e.g., depression, nervousness, anger, etc.), which can often interfere with their relationships.

Dismissing Attachment: If you scored in the “dismissing attachment” quadrant it means you have relatively low levels of anxiety in close relationships, but you have high levels of avoidance. Research on attachment styles indicates that dismissing people tend to prefer their own autonomy--oftentimes at the expense of their close relationships. Although dismissing people often have high self-confidence, they sometimes come across as hostile or competitive by others, and this often interferes with their close relationships.

Fearful Attachment: If you scored in the “fearful attachment” quadrant it means that you have high levels of anxiety and avoidance. Previous research on attachment styles indicates that fearful people tend to have a lot of difficulty in their relationships. They tend to avoid becoming emotionally attached to others, and, even in cases in which they do enter a committed relationship, the relationship may be characterized by mistrust, suspicion, or a lack of confidence.

RELATE Institute Findings: A growing number of studies suggest that whether a person is secure or insecure in his or her adult relationships may be connected to his or her attachment experiences in early childhood. Scholars believe that as children, people develop expectations and beliefs about relationships that are shaped by their family background experiences. Also, studies show that adults with secure attachment tend to be more satisfied in their relationships than insecure adults. Their relationships are more trusting, longer lasting, and have deeper levels of commitment. Also, secure-attachment partners are more likely than insecure adults to seek support from their partners when they are upset or worried. They are also more likely to provide support to their partners when they feel distressed.

This section of your report provides you with feedback about your personal characteristics and your outlook toward marriage. Personal Characteristic factors are related to how much effort you put into relationships, how you feel about yourself, your ability to act mature, your ability to appropriately regulate your emotions, and how you treat other people in close relationships. Marital Outlook refers to how you think about marriage and whether or not you feel marriage is a good thing for you at this time in your life.

Relationship Strategies and Effort

The Relationship Strategy scale measures your use of ideas and skills to change your own behavior and enhance your relationships. The Relationship Effort scale measures your persistence in use of ideas and skills to change your own behavior.

Effort is especially important when initial attempts to improve a relationship do not work well. Together the scales reflect how much priority you give to working on relationships.

Strength (Blue):

If you scored in the blue areas of these scales it means you see yourself trying to use a lot of different ideas and approaches to improve relationships in your life. You persist in trying to be constructive even when your initial attempts are unsuccessful. Your relationships with family members, friends, and dating partners are something you think about regularly, and you make strengthening relationships a top priority in your life.

Need Improvement (White):

If you scored in the white area on these scales it means that you sometimes make efforts to prioritize relationships in your life and sometimes make efforts to improve them when needed. However, you could do this more regularly and more effectively than you currently do.

Challenge (Red):

People who have scores in the Red areas on these scales are likely to have their relationships become less satisfying over time. People rating themselves in the challenge area on these scales may want to increase the focus and priority they attach to the relationships in their life.

Kindness/Flexibility

The Kindness/Flexibility scale measures your level of kindness and flexibility.

Strength (Blue):

A blue score means that you see yourself as being considerate and adaptable. These are common traits of people who form loving and lasting relationships.

Need Improvement (White):

A white score means that you are sometimes kind and considerate. You will have better success in couple relationships when you are consistently kind and flexible.

Challenge (Red):

If you have a red score you need to reevaluate how you interact with others and look for ways to be more flexible and considerate.
RELATE Institute Findings: In research with couples, high levels of kindness and flexibility between partners leads to more effective communication and positive conflict resolution - so in your dating be kind to others and look for someone who is kind to you.

Emotional Readiness

The Emotional Readiness scale is a measure of your levels of maturity, calmness, self-esteem, and depression.

Strength (Blue):

A blue score means you are a calm person who does not get overly anxious and that you are able to avoid getting depressed or moody. You also have good self-esteem and act in mature ways when you have disagreements.

Need Improvement (White):

A white score means that you are sometimes calm and mature. However, occasionally getting too stressed out or losing your temper can harm relationships.

Challenge (Red):

If you have a red score you may have seriously high levels of anxiety and depression and may benefit from assistance by a professional therapist
RELATE Institute Findings: In couple relationships, people with low levels of emotional readiness are more likely to become critical and defensive in arguments with their partner. It is important for you to learn how to effectively manage your emotions before getting into committed relationships.

Religiosity/Spirituality

The Religiosity / Spirituality scale is a measure of the importance of religion and spirituality in your life and the Religious View of Marriage scale is a measure of how much religion influences your attitudes about marriage.

Strength (Blue):

People who score in the blue area on these scales see themselves as highly religious and spiritual. They are likely to be regularly engaged with a religious community and they see marriage as a sacred institution that involves a covenant with God, as well as with their partner.

Need Improvement (White):

People who score in the white area on these scales see themselves as “in the middle” when it comes to religion and spirituality.  They are likely to go to church sometimes, but not regularly and they may or may not see marriage as a sacred promise involving God.  Individuals in this range may have grown up in religious homes, but are still determining where religion fits in their own adult life.  

Challenge Area (Red):

If you scored in the red area on this scale it means you are less likely to access the resources of a religious community. It also means you are less likely to find peace and meaning in spiritual practices.
RELATE Institute Findings: Research has shown that religiosity is strongly related to marital satisfaction and marital commitment. Highly religious young adults have values and attitudes that are more likely to lead to high marital satisfaction, as compared to those with no religious affiliation or activity. These findings are particularly true when both the husband and wife are highly religious. It is important for couples discuss the role of religion in their lives.

Risk Factors

Below is a table that lists other important factors in your personal characteristics. These parts of your relationship readiness are profiled here because years of research have shown each of them to be potential challenges for couples. See the Risk Factor and Challenge Checklist Research Summaries portion of the Appendix at the end of your report for a brief summary of the research on each item. Many of these items are personal in nature and represent your attitudes and behaviors in these areas. A check in the red column means that your reported score indicates a "challenge area," whereas a check in the white or blue columns indicates a "needs improvement" or "strength" area for your relationship readiness.

Carefully review any check marks on this graph to determine if you feel that this really is a challenge for your relationship readiness. Many of the challenges listed (e.g., substance abuse, violence in current relationships, infidelity, etc.) are very serious in nature and may require help from professional counselors or others to overcome. Remember, these are only "potential challenges” for your relationship readiness. With ongoing effort, many people are able to overcome difficulties in their personal lives and are able to develop loving, successful relationships.

Respondent's Responses

Strength Area Challenge Area
Divorced Parents
Personal Alcohol Use
Personal Drug Use
Violence in Current Relationships
Sexual Pressure in Current Relationships
Willingness to Cohabit
Willingness to Cheat in Marriage
Personal Pornography Use
Risky Sexual Behaviors
Sexual Permissiveness

Marital Outlook

The graph below shows your current outlook toward marriage. The Marriage Advantage scale shows how much you are ready to embrace the commitments of married life. The Marriage Optimism scale measures whether you feel confident about forming a lasting marriage or whether you fear divorce. The Marriage Now scale measures whether or not you are currently ready to enter a serious relationship that is leading to marriage or if you are still looking to date for fun.

RELATE Institute Findings: There are four common Marital Outlook Patterns among single adults.

Pattern #1: "True Believers" Many singles score high on all three of the marital outlook scales. If this is your pattern it means you are a “true believer in marriage” who sees marriage as a positive transition in your life. However, make sure that you don’t rush relationships just because you would like to be married now.
Pattern #2: "Scared-Singles" Some singles score low on the Marriage Optimism scale, but medium to high on the other measures of marital outlook. This means that your negative views of marriage are primarily based in a fear of commitment. The main risk of this type of “hedge your bets” approach to marriage is that your fears could become a self-fulfilling prophecy, as your tendency to hold back or create back-up plans will disrupt commitment patterns in your dating.
Pattern #3: "Freedom Fighters" For some singles, the dominant pattern is low scores on the Marriage Advantage and Marriage Now scales, but a high score on the Marriage Optimism scale. This means that you are avoiding marriage because you are unwilling to give up the freedom of being single. The obvious risk of this pattern is that you may never truly connect with others. Research shows that lasting marriages involve sacrifice and commitment.
Pattern #4: "Wedding Planners" Some singles have high scores on the Marriage Advantage and Optimism scales, but a low score on the Marriage Now scale. This means you are interested in experiencing single life and worry that a serious relationship will cause you to miss out on important experiences. The benefit of this is that you can gain some needed maturity before getting married. However, this may involve engaging in various risk behaviors that impair future relationships. Also, you may start to unrealistically view marriage as something that can be perfectly planned in your life.

Effective Communication

The Effective Communication scale measures your level of empathy, listening, and ability to send clear messages.

Strength Area (Blue):

People who score in the blue area of this scale see themselves as being high in empathy, listening, and in sending clear messages.

Need Improvement (White):

A white score on this scale means that you are typically an effective communicator, but sometimes you are not as good at communicating as you need to be.

Challenge Area (Red):

People who have effective communication scores in the red area are more likely to be in relationships that are less satisfying. People rating themselves in the challenge area on this scale may want to evaluate their ways of interacting with others to see how they can increase empathy and understanding, and how they can send and receive the communication of needs, concerns, and desires more effectively.
RELATE Institute Findings: In research with couples, higher levels of effective communication have been shown to be associated with higher relationship quality.

Conflict Resolution

The Conflict Resolution scale is a measure of the degree of criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and emotional flooding that people use when they are trying to resolve conflict.

Strength Area (Blue):

People who score in the blue area on this scale see themselves as rarely using criticism and defensiveness when resolving conflict, and hence they are less likely to be emotionally flooded.

Need Improvement (White):

If you scored in the white area on this scale it means that you may become emotionally flooded and defensive during conflicts, which may lead you to be critical of others at times. Even occasionally being critical of others or getting defensive can harm relationships.

Challenge Area (Red):

People who have conflict resolution scores in the red area are much more likely to be in a relationship that is less satisfying. High levels of criticism and contempt are usually indicative of serious relationship problems that are not likely to be resolved on their own.
RELATE Institute Findings: High scores on the conflict resolution scale are related to fewer relationship problems, higher relationship stability, and higher levels of satisfaction. Low scores on this scale are strongly related to high hostility in relationships.

Overall Strengths and Challenges


This graph summarizes your answers on the most important aspects of relationship readiness. It shows areas of your relationship readiness that are "strengths" (bars in the blue area). These are positive things about you that will help you build and sustain a strong couple relationship. The graph also shows areas of your relationship readiness that “need improvement” (bars in the white area) and areas that that might be “challenges” for you (bars in the red area). These are areas of your relationship readiness that you should work on to make yourself more ready to form a loving and lasting couple relationship in the future.

In addition to identifying specific areas of strength and challenge, we recommend that you evaluate the total number of "strength areas" and "challenge areas" in your relationship readiness. Looking at the total number of these areas highlights the fact that relationships are influenced not only by the presence of certain strengths and challenges, but also by how many of these areas there are in the relationship. As these factors "pile up" on each other they tend to create an overall strengthening or challenging effect on a person's relationship readiness. For example, if 10 out of the 11 score above are in the blue area it means you have a “positive pile-up” of strengths that will complement each other as you form relationships in the future. However, if you have 6 out of the 11 scores in the red area you may have a “negative pile-up” of challenges that could work against your efforts in dating and marriage.

You should keep in mind that almost all people and couples have a mix of relationship strengths and challenges. It may be helpful for you to discuss with a parent or trusted friend the relationship strengths and challenges you have. Talk about how you can make sure you keep doing the things that are assets. It also is helpful to talk about the challenges. See if you can identify things you personally can do to improve the way you manage challenges.

Although this graph can give you some guidance in determining your overall relationship readiness, you ultimately need to determine which aspects of relationship readiness are most important for you to focus on. It is possible that even if you have a score in the white or blue area that it could still be a challenge for you. We encourage you to compare the summary graph on this page to your Perceived Relationship Readiness scores in the first section of your report. Remember that there is a difference between perceived readiness and actual readiness. Your overall strengths and challenges scores on the graph on this page may be the best estimate of what your actual readiness is considering all of the factors that researchers have found to be most important for someone to be ready for a relationship.

Instructions for Detailed Responses & Specific Results

This section of the READY Report presents additional information about the scales in the Summary Profile section of your report. It also provides a scale by scale presentation of you in four important areas of relationship readiness.

This section of your READY Report also contains question tables for the scales. These tables list the specific responses you gave to the questions on the READY questionnaire. You can use these tables to check how you answered the questions and whether the listed response reflects how you remember answering the question.

Additional questions were asked in READY but the answers are not included in the READY Report in order to protect the confidentiality of this information. These questions concern types of abuse in your family background which may or may not have taken place.


Scale Calculation

Personal Profile Scales

Identifying the Key Strengths and Challenges of Your Relationship Readiness
The scales reported in the Profile Scales section are different from the other sections in the report in that they were created by combining other scales in the report. The table below lists the scales that were combined to create your personal profile scales. You can look at the items listed for each of these scales to see which questions are used to create that scale.

  • Kindness/Flexibility combines the scores on the Kind and Flexible scales.
  • Emotional Readiness combines the scores on the Happy, Calm, Mature, and Esteem scales.
  • Family Background combines the Family Quality, Parent's Marriage, and Influence of Family scales.
  • Relationship Strategies and Effort consists of the Relationship Strategies and Relationship Effort scales.
  • Religiosity/Spirituality is calculated using the religiosity/spirituality scale.
  • Effective Communication combines the Empathy and Clear Sending scales.
  • Conflict Resolution combines the scores on the Noncritical, Contempt/Defensiveness, and Overwhelmed scales.

Calculation of strength and challenge zones The strength (Blue) and challenge (Red) zones on the personal profile graphs were calculated using a large, national sample of couples in the United States. The cut-off points between zones were determined by comparing scale scores with partners’ reports of relationship satisfaction. The cut-off point for the blue zone is the level on each scale where 90% or more people reporting that score also reported that they were satisfied with their relationship. The white zone is the level where 70% to 89% typically report being highly satisfied and the red zone indicates the level where less than 70% of individuals reported being satisfied with their relationships. For example, if the blue zone for a scale begins at 4.50 it means that more than 90% of individuals who rate themselves at or above that level also report that they are satisfied with their relationships.

Challenge Checklist

The summaries below briefly explain why certain factors are included in the challenges checklist portion of your Summary Profile. These factors were included in your profile because they have a proven track record as challenges or risk factors for couples who desire to have lifelong, high-quality relationships.

Age:
Age at marriage has consistently been found to be highly related to later marital quality (Holman & Linford, 2001). Teenage marriages are considerably less stable than those that take place when couples are in their early to mid-twenties (Glenn & Marquardt, 2000). Holman and his colleagues (2001) have offered the hypothesis that marriages that take place when partners are too young are at risk because the couple may not be mature enough to handle the responsibilities and stresses of marriage. First marriages that occur too far above the mean age for marriage (25 for women and 27 for men) could be problematic as well. The concern here is whether or not these individuals can be flexible enough in their preferred style of living to adjust to another person’s needs and preferences.

Parents - Divorced:
Never before have so many people grown up in homes where both biological parents were not together. Even if separation or divorce occurs when children are very young, there is a significant and ongoing loss that surrounds the break-up of one’s parents. The idea that divorce can occur without serious negative consequences to family members is a fallacy. Yet, many if not most people who have gone through the experience of a parental divorce do find ways to overcome these traumatic experiences and lead happy, fulfilling lives. The key for your current relationship is to evaluate how a parental divorce has influenced your attitudes and commitment level to marriage (Amato, 2000). People who have divorced parents have been shown to more frequently have poorer relationships with their parents and to not place as much importance on marriage as those whose parents are still together. Resolving anger or disappointment toward one or both parents who divorced can help adults improve their relationships.

Parents Divorce AgeRespondent
How old were you when your parents divorced?-

Violence and Sexual Coercion in the Current Relationship:
One particularly troublesome problem that couples might experience is violence in their relationship. Violence can take many forms and may occur very seldom or very often. In some relationships both partners hit one another; in others only one partner uses physical force. Sometimes the violence might include sexual coercion and even rape. In many instances when there are problems with violence there are also problems with alcohol (Busby, 2000). Estimates on violence rates suggest that between 30% and 50% of premarital couples have experienced at least moderate violence (Killian & Busby, 1996). This is alarming because violence tends to increase after marriage. Any couple who has experienced violence prior to marriage should seek professional help and may want to seriously question the viability of their relationship.

Couple Violence - READYRespondent
How often are YOU violent in any of the ways mentioned above in current relationships?Never
How often are others violent toward you in current close relationships?Never
Sexual Pressure - READYRespondent
How often have others been pressured against their will to participate in sexual behaviors (such as fondling, oral sex, or intercourse) by YOU?Never
How often have you been pressured against your will to participate in intimate sexual activities (such as fondling, oral sex, or intercourse) by OTHERS?Never

Willingness to Have an Affair:
The social norm for marriage is sexual fidelity. The vast majority of people expect that their marriage will be one of exclusivity and hope that their partner will be sexually faithful in their marriage. A willingness to have an affair after marriage indicates a lack of commitment to the relationship and to the institution of marriage itself. Sexual infidelity has been found to be a serious factor that influences why many couples separate or divorce. If you indicated that you might have an affair after marriage you received a check in the Challenge Checklist.

Willingness to Cohabit:
Some couples believe that living together is the best pathway to marriage. In fact, 60% of couples who live together do get married (Frey, Abresch, & Yeasting, 2001). Although cohabitation may be a common experience, the effects of cohabitation on the future success of marriage are clearly negative. Study after study continues to document that cohabitation before marriage increases the chance of divorce and dissatisfaction in marriage. In some studies, cohabitation has been shown to double the chance of divorce (McRae, 1999). If you indicated a willingness to cohabit you received a check in the Challenges Checklist.


Scale by Scale Relationship Evaluation

Explanation:

This part of your READY Report provides a scale by scale evaluation of you in the following areas:

  • Personality Characteristics
  • Family Background Experiences
  • Relationship Experiences
Look at the specific areas where you have low scores and reflect on their implications for your relationship readiness. A few of these differences may have resulted from errors where you simply misinterpreted the questions. Some of them, however, will identify areas of personal growth which should be examined more fully.

Personality Characteristics

The bar graphs below show how you rated yourself on several personality characteristics. Each scale is based on your response of how much the words describe you.

Interpretation Guidelines and Discussion Questions

In viewing your results, look at your answers for the READY scale items to check if you misinterpreted an item or marked your answer wrong (e.g. marked "rarely" when you meant "often.")

In thinking about the future, how would personality similarities serve as a resource for you and your potential partner in the relationship? How will you adjust to large differences?

Personality Scales Tables

Kindness - SelfRespondent
ConsiderateVery Often
KindOften
LovingVery Often
FriendlyVery Often
Sociable - SelfRespondent
TalkativeVery Often
QuietRarely
ShySometimes
OutgoingVery Often
Calm - SelfRespondent
WorrierVery Often
FearfulRarely
TenseSometimes
NervousSometimes
Organized - SelfRespondent
OrganizedVery Often
MessySometimes
Flexible - SelfRespondent
Open mindedVery Often
FlexibleOften
Easy goingOften
AdaptableSometimes
Mature - SelfRespondent
Fight with others/lose temperRarely
Act immatureNever
Easily irritated or madRarely
Happy - SelfRespondent
Sad and blueRarely
Feel hopelessNever
DepressedRarely
Esteem - SelfRespondent
I take a positive attitude toward myself.Very Often
I think I am no good at all.Rarely
I feel I am a person of worth.Often
I am inclined to think I am a failure.Rarely

Marital Outlook

The Marital Outlook scales are important scales that indicate how you are thinking about relationships and approaching marriage in your future. These scales are best looked at together and form an overall pattern or style of how someone views marriage. The graphs for these scales were shown in your READY Report (see Marital Outlook Section). Listed below are your specific responses to the questions that make up these scales.

Marital Outlook Scales Tables

The Marriage Advantage scale is a measure how much you are ready to embrace the commitments of married life. This score reflects whether you feel there are more advantages to being married versus being single.

Marriage AdvantageRespondent
I worry I will lose independence when I marry.Strongly Agree
I would rather hold on to my independence than get married.Disagree
I think there are more advantages to being married than being single.It Depends
I think people are better off financially being single than married.It Depends
I don't care what others think; I do my own thing. Agree
I really love my personal freedom.Strongly Agree

The Marriage Optimism scale measures whether you feel confident about forming a lasting marriage or whether you fear divorce will happen to you. It also measures how much the idea of life-long commitment appeals to you.

Marriage OptimismRespondent
The idea of a life-long commitment scares me.Disagree
I'm confident that my marriage will last a lifetime.Agree
The fear of divorce makes me nervous about getting married.Strongly Agree

The Marriage Now scale measures whether or not you are currently ready to enter a serious relationship that is leading to marriage or if you are still looking to date for fun. The focus of this score is on whether you still feel like you want to be in the single stage of life or if you are ready to move to the marriage stage of life.

Marriage NowRespondent
I don't really worry about marriage right now, I am mainly focused on enjoying being single. Strongly Disagree
It's important to fully experience the single life before you marry and settle down. It Depends
It's important to me to fully enjoy the single life before I get married.Strongly Agree
Right now, I'm just dating for fun.Disagree
Currently I would rather be marriedStrongly Agree

RELATE Institute Findings: There are four common Marital Outlook Patterns among single adults.

Pattern #1: "True Believers" Many singles score high on all three of the marital outlook scales. If this is your pattern it means you are a “true believer in marriage” who sees marriage as a positive transition in your life. However, make sure that you don’t rush relationships just because you would like to be married now.
Pattern #2: "Scared-Singles" Some singles score low on the Marriage Optimism scale, but medium to high on the other measures of marital outlook. This means that your negative views of marriage are primarily based in a fear of commitment. The main risk of this type of “hedge your bets” approach to marriage is that your fears could become a self-fulfilling prophecy, as your tendency to hold back or create back-up plans will disrupt commitment patterns in your dating.
Pattern #3: "Freedom Fighters" For some singles, the dominant pattern is low scores on the Marriage Advantage and Marriage Now scales, but a high score on the Marriage Optimism scale. This means that you are avoiding marriage because you are unwilling to give up the freedom of being single. The obvious risk of this pattern is that you may never truly connect with others. Research shows that lasting marriages involve sacrifice and commitment.
Pattern #4: "Wedding Planners" Some singles have high scores on the Marriage Advantage and Optimism scales, but a low score on the Marriage Now scale. This means you are interested in experiencing single life and worry that a serious relationship will cause you to miss out on important experiences. The benefit of this is that you can gain some needed maturity before getting married. However, this may involve engaging in various risk behaviors that impair future relationships. Also, you may start to unrealistically view marriage as something that can be perfectly planned in your life.

Religiosity/Spirituality

The Religiosity / Spirituality scale is a measure of the importance of religion and spirituality in your life and the Religious View of Marriage scale is a measure of how much religion influences your attitudes about marriage.

Religiosity/Spirituality Scales Tables

Religiosity/SpiritualityRespondent
Spirituality is an important part of my life.Sometimes
How often do you pray (commune with a higher power)?Sometimes
Some doctrines or practices of my church (or religious body) are hard for me to accept.Often
How often do you attend religious services?Once or twice a year or less

Family Background

The scales in the following graphs show an evaluation of your perceptions of your family background experiences. For all of the scales in this section, higher scores indicate that your experiences with your families (e.g., relationships with parents, etc.) are generally better than those who have low scores.

The last scale on the graph ("family stressors") focuses on a number of stressful situations sometimes experienced by families. Higher scores on this scale indicate that a greater number of stressors occurred in your family.

Interpretation Guidelines and Discussion Questions

  • Reflect on each family background scale and how you think it has affected you as an adult. How may this factor be affecting you right now? For example, if you rate your family's processes as largely negative (e.g., having an unloving atmosphere), how might this affect your view of marriage and family life and your relationships with others?
  • For bar graphs that are very low refer to how you answered each individual question to better determine why the score is so low. For scales with very low scores, set goals on how to improve your family relationships, if possible. For example, if you rated your father-child relationship as poor, what can you do to improve it now?
  • Reflect on the stressors that occurred to your family while growing up. How have these stressors and your family's type of reaction (e.g. denial, quick resolution of the crisis, etc.) affected you as a child and affect you now as an adult. How have these stressors affected your attitudes about marriage and family life? Are you more or less confident that you can handle future life stressors as an individual? Why?

Your Parent's Conflict Style

The description of the conflict styles of your parents are as follows:

  • My father/mother avoided conflict. He/She didn’t think there was much to be gained from getting openly angry with others. In fact, to him/her a lot of talking about emotions and difficult issues seemed to make matters worse. He/She thought that if people would just relax, problems would have a way of working themselves out.
  • My mother/father discussed difficult issues, but it was important to her/him to display a lot of self-control and to remain calm. She/He preferred to let others know that their opinions and emotions were valued even if they were different than his. When arguing, she/he tried to spend a lot of time validating others as well as trying to find a compromise.
  • My father/mother debated and argued about issues until they were resolved. Arguing openly and strongly didn’t bother him/her because this was how he/she felt differences were resolved. Although sometimes his/her arguing was intense, that was okay because he/she tried to balance this with kind and loving expressions. He/She thought that his/her passion and zest actually led to better relationships with lots of intensity, making up, laughing, and affection.
  • My mother/father could get pretty upset when she/he argued. When she/he was upset at times she/he insulted others by using something like sarcasm or put downs. During intense discussions she/he found it was difficult to listen to what others were saying because she/he was trying to make her/his point. Sometimes she/he had intensely negative feelings toward others when there was a conflict.
Respondent
Describes Father
Respondent
Describes Mother
Avoidant
Validating
Volatile
Escalate

Relationship Experiences

Relationship Strategies and Effort

The Relationship Strategies and Effort scales are important scales that indicate how well you are able to apply effective strategies for change and sustain your efforts at keeping your relationship healthy even when things don't go as well as you hope. The graphs for these scales were shown in your Summary Profile. Listed below are your specific responses to the questions that make up these scales.

Regulation Strategies - READYRespondent
I try to apply ideas about effective relationships to improving my relationships.Always true
I actually put my intentions or plans for personal change into practice.Always true
I give others helpful feedback on the ways they can help me achieve my goals.Never True
If the way I'm approaching change doesn't work, I can usually think of something different to try.Usually True
Regulation Effort-READYRespondent
If things go wrong in my relationships I tend to feel powerless.Usually True
I tend to fall back on what is comfortable for me in relationships, rather than trying new ways of relating.Usually True
Even when I know what I could do differently to improve things in my relationships, I cannot seem to change my behavior.Sometimes True
If others don't appreciate the change efforts I am making, I tend to give up.Rarely True

Personal Communication Style

Communication is important for relationships, but there are many ways to communicate, and individuals often develop their own style of communicating. Below are graphs showing your evaluations of how you communicate. Similar to the Personality Characteristics section, each scale is based on the responses of how often you are like the label for each scale.

Interpretation Guidelines and Discussion Questions

  • People who rate themselves as high on empathy, sending clear messages, expressing love, etc. tend to have more satisfying relationships. Which communication styles above are your strengths or weaknesses? Which do you need to improve?
  • Note that three communication styles in particular - having low scores on NONCRITICAL, RESPECT, and NOT OVERWHELMED — are especially harmful to relationship satisfaction.
Empathy - READYRespondent
I understand others' feelings.Very Often
I am able to listen to others in an understanding way.Often
In most matters, I understand what others are trying to say.Often
Love - READYRespondent
I include other people in my life.Often
I show a lot of love toward others.Very Often
Clearsending - READYRespondent
I discuss my personal problems with close others.Sometimes
When I talk to close others I can say what I want in a clear manner.Very Often
I struggle to find words to express myself to close others.Never
I sit down with people who are close to me and just talk things over.Very Often
I talk over pleasant things that happen during the day when I am with others.Very Often
Soothing - READYRespondent
When I am in an argument, I recognize when I am overwhelmed and then make a deliberate effort to calm myself down.Very Often
While in an argument, I recognize when others are overwhelmed and then make a deliberate effort to calm them down.Very Often
I've found that during an intense argument it is better to take a break, calm down, then return to discuss it later.Often
Noncritical - READYRespondent
I don't censor my complaints at all. I really let others have it full force.Rarely
I use a tactless choice of words when I complain.Never
There's no stopping me once I get started complaining.Rarely
Respect - READYRespondent
I have no respect for others when we are discussing an issue.Never
When I get upset I can see glaring faults in others' personalities.Often
When others complain, I feel that I have to "ward off" these attacks.Rarely
I feel unfairly attacked when others are being negative.Rarely
Not Overwhelmed - READYRespondent
Whenever I have a conflict with others, I feel physically tense and anxious, and I don't think clearly.Rarely
I feel physically tired or drained after I have an argument with others.Very Often
Whenever I have a conflict with someone, the feelings I have are overwhelming.Sometimes