Cinematic Romance

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We have all come across messages about love through media.  Romantic comedies are among some of the most viewed films of all time, and why not?  They are fun and can make us feel good.

On the flipside, there are some valid concerns about how our viewing habits shape our perceptions about what love is and what it looks like.  Are we getting realistic expectations or giving ourselves false hope when we watch rom-coms?

Perhaps some of both.  In a recent study, Veronica Hefner of University of Illinois and Barbara Wilson of University of Wisconsin found four primary themes of romantic films.  


1. Soul Mate/One-and-Only

Out of the 7 billion people on the planet, there is only one we are meant to be with.  

The Cons:  The biggest fiction of the soul mate belief is that there is someone we will be perfectly happy and matched with the moment we find them.  However, if we are perfect for each other from the start, then there is no room for growth or conflict.  As soon as we run into trouble, we are more likely ... Read more »

Are You Blinded By Love?

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Love is Blind

We have all heard the saying “Love is Blind,” and chances are we have seen couples that seem to prove it.  Why else would a really tall person marry a really short person?  Because most of us don’t believe differences like height are dangerous to relationships, we often find love-blindness humorous and perhaps a little strange.  


But when we see a couple who seems to be blind to serious faults in their partner, we begin to worry.  And maybe we begin to worry if we are being blind to something serious in our own relationships.  We may even begin to question the wisdom of being in love if it only makes us blind.


Fortunately, love may not be as blind as we might think and having blinders on might not always be a bad thing.  In a recent review of research, Garth Fletcher and Patrick Kerr of the University of Canterbury discovered the truth about love and what it does to our perceptions of our romantic partner.


The Two Errors

When it comes to judging the characteristics of a partner, there ... Read more »

Three Ways To Improve Sexual Intimacy

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This post written by Dr. Brian Willoughby–Marriage and Family Researcher, expert in healthy sexuality in relationships, and Professor at Brigham Young University.

Alright I’ll admit it, that title’s a bit misleading.  What you won’t find here are three sexual positions that will wow your partner or the latest sexual craze from last month’s Cosmo magazine. However, the title isn’t a lie.  Often we assume that good sex must be about the position of our bodies or the intensity of our body movement.  The truth about good sex is very different.  When it comes to sex, there is such a thing as trying too hard and often couples who focus solely on trying to physically pleasure their partner suffer from less sexual satisfaction.


While most people understand the sex is a physical act, many fail to understand that it is also an emotional act…or perhaps most accurately it is a relational act.  Sex can be “good” for many reasons.  I can feel physical pleasure when I have sex (physical “good”), experience increased positive emotion like happiness (emotionally “good”), and feel more bonded and ... Read more »

“Tell me I’m sexy…and otherwise valuable…”

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Sexy woman with physical attractiveness
Does caring about your partner’s physical attractiveness make your relationship better?

Andrea Meltzer and James McNulty–both professors of psychology–set out to answer this age-old question last year. They found that as long as people felt sure that their partners were committed and valued their other, non-physical qualities like personality, they were happier when their partners cared about their physical attractiveness than when they didn’t.


On the other hand, in relationships where there were low levels of commitment or a lack of attention on non-physical qualities, attention on physical appearance resulted in lower overall happiness in the relationship.


So, if you keep getting in trouble for caring too much about your partner’s physical appearance, maybe it’s time for you to start focusing on some other qualities that you love about them.  Don’t be shy, let them know why you love them for more than their good looks!  The other take home message?  If you are making sure you give your partner compliments about their personality, don’t hesitate to let them know how good they look in that new swimsuit either!


Written by: Steph


 Source: Meltzer, A. L., ... Read more »