True or False: We can and should try to change our romantic partners.
Answer: False. But that doesn’t mean our partner’s can’t or shouldn’t try to change themselves. We can be a major influence for those changes we hope to see. Sometimes we even find ourselves changing because of our partner.
When “me” becomes a “we,” there are many opportunities for change. Sometimes those changes happen in the relationship as a whole, like making a single Facebook account for a couple. But the most common changes happen at an individual level. When two different individuals begin spending so much time together, it is only a matter of time before those two individuals become more like their partner.
In a recent study, Kevin McIntyre at Trinity University found that allowing ourselves to become more like our partner can play an important role in relationships. However, not all changes have a positive influence. The study revealed four main types of what are called “self-changes,” or how one partner changes him or herself to become more like a partner, and only half of ... Read more »