Have you ever been mad at someone and thought, “Why am I so mad at them? They didn’t do it on purpose!” ? When you’re mad about something, it’s easier to shut off your brain and just brood than really think about the above question. Unfortunately, when you do this, it leaves you clueless as to why exactly you’re upset. Before you come back with the retort, “I’m just mad because I’m mad!”, hear us out. Anger is what we call a secondary emotion. It’s the top of the iceberg of emotions. This means there are primary emotions beneath it. Because primary emotions leave us feeling more vulnerable, they quickly get covered up with some form of anger, causing us to react poorly when we feel wronged in our relationships.
For example, a wife might be mad at her husband for forgetting his phone one day because she couldn’t get ahold of him. But a closer examination of what’s going on with her could reveal a fear of something bad happening and not being able to find him. Or maybe she’s ... Read more »