As a therapist, my least favorite answer to a question is probably “I don’t know…”. I mean I always think (rather critically), Really? You don’t know? Yes you do. You’re in your head, not me. Just tell me! As I’ve been thinking about this more I’ve realized that I have the same response to my husband when he gives me non-answers like “Where do you want to go to eat?” “I don’t know, you pick.”, “How are you feeling about this?” “I don’t know.”, “Did I hurt your feelings?” “I don’t know.”, “I just told you how upset I am about all of this, don’t you have any response?” “I don’t know.”. I’ve always been frustrated and a little impatient with it, whether it’s in my own marriage or in my relationship with clients in the therapy room because I don’t understand “not knowing” how you’re feeling. I usually have about a thousand ways to express what I’m thinking and feeling!
Here’s what I didn’t know about “I don’t know.”. It’s true! They don’t know! Earth-shattering, right? But truly, they really don’t know in ... Read more »