The 3 Worst Couples You’ll Ever Meet

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When I was 4 years old someone told me I had to get married someday. I cried for hours on my mother’s lap while she tried to comfort me by saying I never had to get married if I didn’t want to. This fear of marriage stayed with me for most of my life, and I justified it by pointing out all the terrible couples I saw around me. Why on earth would I get married just to end up like them? I eventually realized that many couples have perfectly happy and healthy marriages.  I also realized that many of these “terrible” couples were simply like most of us, experiencing the ups and downs of a normal relationship.  

Who are these couples and is everything about them really that terrible? Let me summarize some of the more common types of marriages we see.  You’ll likely see yourself and your relationship in some of these descriptions.    

Overly Reactive Who?

This couple is like the high school sweethearts who dominated the halls with their screaming matches or passionate kissing; everything is at 100% ... Read more »

Are You Afraid of Marriage?

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As a student and marriage scholar, I have been fascinated by the attitudes so many young adults hold about marriage.  In fact, my Thesis is on that very topic.  I have taken particular interest in the increasing delay of marriage we see among young adults today.  According to the US Census Bureau, the average age at first marriage for men is 29 and 27 for women, and it appears this continues to increase.  So what is behind this increase in age?  Some might say young adults are just being smart because they are more mature at those ages. There appears to be some fears about marriage that suggest that many young adults believe that marrying at younger ages is simply irresponsible.

While the fears we have about marriage are often different and come from different places, research has revealed some common fears about marriage that are prevalent among young adults today.  While these fears are often based on valid concerns, they also drive many relationships to a less than satisfying end and a delay in one of the most rewarding ... Read more »

To Fall in Love with Anybody Try This…

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Did you know you can fall in love with someone simply by asking them 36 personal questions? Such a concept was first introduced in 1997 by researcher Arthur Aron and has been producing results in participants since then.

The set up is simple. A heterosexual man and woman enter a lab separately, they sit face-to-face and ask a series of increasingly more personal questions, taking turns to answer. They then hold silent eye contact with each other for four minutes. As simple and silly as may sound, there have been significant results, the most notably being two participants who were married six months after completing the experiment.

But what is so magical and romantic about this study? Does it matter what 36 questions are asked or how they are answered? According to the study’s authors, yes. The 36 questions are separated into three sets, with each set becoming more personal than the last. The concept that the study is based on is that mutual vulnerability creates closeness. As Dr. Aron explains,

“One key pattern associated with the development of ... Read more »

Successful Texting in a Modern Age

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The way we date has drastically changed over the years. Our grandparents met friends at sock hops or dances, and went steady. Our parents stressed over calling each other, worried that they may have to ask a parent, “uh, oh, hi… is Stacy there?” These days we have Tinder, Snapchat, and texting to help us try to navigate the dating scene and hope we come out victorious.

One issue many single adults find in trying to lock down a date is how to do so successfully. Due to the dependence many of us have on our phones and laptops, we find face-to-face interactions daunting and at times almost impossible to arrange. Instead of calling for a date, many rely on text messaging, but that can lead to many issues. Maybe the person doesn’t respond in time for the date, maybe they accept, but think you’re just “hanging out” together, maybe they ignore you completely and claim they never received the text.  Clearly, texting is not an ideal form of communication.   

Actor Aziz Ansari researched what he calls our Modern ... Read more »

Dating Like a Bachelor

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Ever watch the Bachelor? (Don’t worry, this is a safe place; no one will ever know if you just responded “yes.”) My husband and I have found a new guilty pleasure in the show. We watch for the drama, the terrible life choices, and the truly hilarious quotes (“I’m literally speechless right now” and similar wise sentiments). Although it appears that there is no scientific substance to this reality TV dating show, there is an aspect of most episodes rooted in the science of attraction: The dates.

These dates are rarely ones us in the real world go on. Rather than watching a movie and making cookies, the contestants ride bulls bareback, or repel down a skyscraper. Terrifying activities that get blood pumping. There’s a reason for this.

Adrenaline and Dating.

Research has shown that initial attraction can occur more frequently when people feel strong emotions such as fear or anger. Some say this is due to the body’s nervous system responding very similarly when it feels attraction or fear: The pupils dilate, the stomach churns, and the bladder tries to ... Read more »